Doors no doodle for Google
Google the poodle here again.
What ON EARTH is going on round this office? Everybody knows that I’M the chief meeter and greeter in the office but lately a lot of doors seem to have been shut in my face and I have been prevented from carrying out my duties, as outlined in my job description.
I can’t understand it. Clients love my tap dancing welcome routine on the laminate floor boards as they come through the door; they adore it when I jump up and down a lot to say hello; and they love it when I bring them little cuddly bear gifts – even when I don’t let them keep it. So what’s the big idea?
Recently, I’ve adopted some protest strategies to deal with this unwelcome corporate move:
- Lying in doorways to stop the door being shut. This has had mixed results as members of staff are often heard to be muttering under their breath when they step over me. In any case, they’re all bigger than me and they just shut the door anyway.
- Scrabbling at the shut door. Mixed results here again as nobody likes a door with peeling paint.
- Barking at the door. A very successful tactic as, in a confined space with other staff, this has the effect of making their ears bleed and they usually let me out of the room quite quickly. Unfortunately, they also tend to slam it shut again behind me.
- Picking up something unauthorised to eat and throwing it up again shortly afterwards. The most successful tactic so far as usually ALL the doors are immediately thrown open including all the outside ones too.
Whilst I am quite good at getting my own way in having total access to the rest of the office, I’m concerned that my approach is causing my ‘aww’ factor to wear thin and they’ll replace me with another fake plant. I shall probably concentrate on perfecting my tribute to Puss in Boots from Shrek instead – humans are suckers for my puppy dog eyes.
Woof woof for now.
Tags: Google
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